'Ferrari F1 Team fire their entire pit crew'

This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British Government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ local youngsters.

The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Sheffield were able to remove a set of wheels without proper equipment in less than 6 seconds. It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management as most races are won and lost in the pits.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the new crews first practise session they not only changed all 4 wheels in under 5 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, rebadged, and sold the car to Mclaren for 10 cases of Stella, a bag of weed, and some photo's of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower!!

...that's nothing.. the boys from the Birmingham scheme only failed to get the job because in their pre-interview risk assessment team role play method statement right, yeah, like, know what ah meen, involved shooting the Mclaren representative for looking at them wivaht rspkt as the deal was closed (but after the money was handed over) and then selling the lot for a larger quantity of raw poppy juice to a previously unknown team lurking in the shadows and only known as 'Force Pakistan'.Apparently the absence of an FIA Entrant's Licence was not initially considered a bar to taking part as the first event was scheduled as a new GP for Birmingham.