3 years seems like a lifetime ago.
A life that was forever taken – a life that was cut short. Our lives altered forever.
Some days, it feels as if only a few minutes or hours have passed since the last time we spoke; since the last time you held me, told me you loved me and laid down next to me to go to sleep.
It’s taken me a long time to accept that you’re really gone. Not because I didn’t believe the accident really happened – but because I couldn’t accept that we were left behind. You, Madeline, and I were a family and we were supposed to be together forever. We were “ThreeObers”. And then, one day, we weren’t anymore. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We didn’t have a Plan B. We had a whole life ahead of us and it wasn’t fair that you died too young. We were happy and we were in love. I’ve tried to make the best decisions for Madeline and I that I could – and it’s been so hard without you. We never had the chance to talk about where we might live when we came back to the U.S. We never talked about what sports you wanted Madeline to play or where she should go to school because she was only 4 when you were taken from us. All I can hope for is that you are looking down from heaven at the two of us and you’re proud of the life we’ve made since you’ve been gone. I see so much of you in her – your kindness, determination, and even your stubbornness (which I have to take a little credit for, too).
I have missed your great big hugs; the kind that linger for minutes at a time, even after they’re over. I have missed the way in which you entered a room; always with confidence – making your presence known, yet somehow, always with a comforting and friendly manner. I have missed the way you always stood up for what you believed in, what you knew was right, even if it wasn’t the PC-thing to do. I have always admired how much integrity and honor you always showed toward others. I have missed the enthusiasm you always had for physical exercise and your determination to motivate others to exercise, even if no one wanted to run the O-course one more time. I have missed the natural way you played with Madeline; always knowing that she truly adored spending time with her daddy. I have missed your smile; your contagious smile always had the ability to put anyone at ease and leave a lasting impression on everyone you met, even if you didn’t speak their language. Most of all, I have missed my best friend. I will never forget the day we met and how much you’ve made my life better just by being in it.
I will always be proud of your unwavering dedication and willingness to serve our country at all costs, including your own life. I will never stop loving you and you will forever be my hero. I know in my heart that one day I will see you again.
*Our Song*
“Who knows how long I’ve loved you?
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime?
If you want me to I will.
Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we’re together
Love you when we’re apart”
(Allison Krause)
To the greatest love of my life - You are gone but never forgotten and I will honor and cherish every moment we ever shared and I will forever be grateful for the love we had and for the life we created.
Yours always,
Alicia
